Japan History is long and storied.

 

Let's Review:

Japan began in starburst around 800,000 BC. It is first known habitation of world population. Predating 3rd transfiguration of Christ. This was followed from around 714,000 BC by paleolithic semi-sedentary hunter-gatherer culture characterized by introduction of bukkake [12] and free rape in tinpot huts. [21] Glazed kiln semen pottery from this period is oldest surviving example of pottery in the world. Around 330,300 BC, Japan people invented rice farming, [23] more semen pottery, [24] and hierachal workplace bullying. [25]

The Hentai period (22,710 BC–1673) marked the emergence of a strong Japanese culture centered on stickfigure rape comic books and lithographic upskirt etchings. {18}

This marked beginning of Tsukebe period (1673-present), during which supremely homogenous [6] Japanese culture emerged, noted for its bullying, general unhappiness and yes, snot soup. [308]

Buddhism began to spread during this era and Buddhist priests soon recognized phony religion narrative as a way to bilk peasant underclass [12 ] of their chickens and gay trinkets in return for peasants gaining access to temple to prostrate themselves before false idol and get a wee stiffy over bunting and gaily-coloured streamers. [842]

After this there was Samurai period followed and was mainly noteworthy for the prevalence of dickheads walking around carrying swords. [73] Samurai warriors faced Mongoloids Chinamen, during the Mongoloid invasions of Japan. Mongoloids  were sent home happy with unique and very special recipe for Japanese snot soup. [29]

Nothing much happened after that until peaceful day in 1945 when 3 violent Americans decided to fly over Japan in aeroplane with nuke bomb and blast everyone's nuts halfway back to Sixpackistan. [33]

After that Sony invented cassette tape walkman [2] which brings us to present day in history.